热烈祝贺哥要搞_哥要色_哥也搞_哥也要服务器升级完毕,全固态硬盘,50G超大带宽,满足你的 一切数据查看需求!

公告:郑重承诺:资源永久免费,资源不含任何联盟富媒体弹窗广告,只有三次走马灯水印广告(承诺绝不影响用户体验)


当前位置
首页  »  宁老师DIY留学咨询  »  举例说ESSAY:Use Anecdotes and Captivate with Experience in Essays
作者:mbaMission

摘要: 欢迎关注宁老师(Coach Ning)的微信公众号“宁老师DIY留学咨询”。每天跟踪宁老师(Coach Ning)分享的留学DIY资料。想看历史资料,可以在公众号的主页直接点击查询。

欢迎关注宁老师(Coach Ning)的微信公众号宁老师DIY留学咨询。每天跟踪宁老师(Coach Ning)分享的留学DIY资料。想看历史资料,可以在公众号的主页直接点击查询。



举例说ESSAYUse Anecdotes and Captivate with Experience in Your Essays

 

 

How to Use Anecdotes and Captivate withExperience in Your MBA Application Essays

 

By: mbaMission

 

 

Many business school candidates take astraightforward, historical approach in their personal statement essays.Although this can be an easy way to organize an essay, it may depriveapplicants of an opportunity to deliver a more focused and grippingintroduction. Nothing is fundamentally wrong with taking a historical approach,of course, but an anecdotal approach can better maintain a reader’s interest incertain circumstances. Of course, this all comes down to execution.

 

Example:Historical

 

When I graduated from NewYork University with a finance degree, I eschewed Wall Street and pursued myown distinct path; I opened a flower shop in midtown New York, never imaginingthe challenges I would face as I strived to bring in new customers and locateproducts around the world. With time, I learned to advertise selectively (onbillboards in local office buildings) and developed relationships withsuppliers, particularly one in Peru, with whom I obtained an exclusive onHeliconia flowers. After one year, we started to specialize in foreign flowers,and with a niche identified, we developed a strong client base. My firmstabilized, and I was no longer bleeding cash to support my 11 employees; wewere cash-flow neutral and contemplating a new location.

 

This introduction is very direct andinformative but involves almost no drama or emotion. To be more effective, thewriter might instead consider positioning himself/herself as “the hero” anddrawing the reader in with some anecdotal tension.

 

Example:Anecdotal

 

My hand quivered as I signedthe lease for 1,000 square feet of retail space in midtown New York. Two monthslater, I threw open the doors to my flower shop and was stunned when I did notmake a sale until my third day. Admittedly, I began to question the wisdom ofentrepreneurship and wondered if I should have joined my peers from New YorkUniversity’s finance program as an analyst on Wall Street instead. However,each day, a trickle of customers came in, and more often than not, theycommented on the colorful and rare flowers in my window, like the PeruvianHeliconia, exclusive to my shop. Within weeks, I had core customers picking upscheduled orders and referring friends; I bolstered this ‘word of mouth’ withselect advertising on electronic billboards in the four 50-story office towerssurrounding the shop. Soon, I noticed a surge of customers and was no longerbleeding cash. After one year, we were cash-flow neutral, and I was evencontemplating opening another location.

 

In this version, the same information isconveyed, but the tension inherent in the “quivering hand” and the empty storeacts as a “hook” to draw the reader in. By taking this more personal,emotional, and indeed anecdotal approach, the writer allows the reader toidentify with his/her struggle and thereby maintains the reader’s interest.Again, this is not a case of right or wrong, and each MBA candidate shoulddecide what works best in his/her own essays.

 

Indeed, our philosophy is that candidates should let their experiences,not just their word choices, captivate the admissions committees. Sometimeswe find that applicants attempt to emphasize their actions with “extreme”adjectives and adverbs—an approach we strongly discourage.

 

Example: “As others withdrew their support,I remained remarkably dedicated to our crucial fundraising efforts. Idramatically increased my participation in our strategic planning meetings andinsisted that we push forward with a wildly creative guerrilla marketing plan,which brought forth tremendous results—$1M in ‘instant’ proceeds.”

 

In these two sentences, the writer uses thedescriptors “remarkably,” “dramatically,” “wildly,” and “tremendous” to makehis impression. We find that a more effective approach is to eliminate these“extreme” descriptions and let the experiences do the “talking.”

 

Example: “As others withdrew their support,I remained dedicated to our fundraising efforts. I increased my participationin our strategic planning meetings and insisted that we push forward with aguerrilla marketing plan that brought $1M in ‘instant’ proceeds.”

 

In this second example, the writer does notneed to say that the results were “tremendous,” because the $1M in proceedsspeaks for itself; we do not need to be told that the marketing campaign was “wildlycreative,” because this is implied in the nature of guerrilla marketing. Inaddition to truly showing a level of humility on the part of the candidate,this approach is also less wordy. Although the eight words saved in the latterexample may seem inconsequential, we removed them from only two sentences. Ifyou can remove four words from every sentence in your original draft, you couldsignificantly but humbly augment your essay with other compelling ideas.

 

 

 

以上内容摘自:

https://www.mbamission.com/blog/2017/11/07/how-to-use-anecdotes-and-captivate-with-experience-in-your-mba-application-essays/

 

 

 

宁老师(CoachNing)联系方式:

QQ906866938

微信:可通过qq号加宁老师微信

微信公众号:宁老师DIY留学咨询

SKYPEessay-ningchunlong

LinkedIn账号:http://cn.linkedin.com/pub/chunlong-ning/30/28/409

新浪微博:http://weibo.com/ningchunlong

腾讯博客:http://user.qzone.qq.com/906866938/2

 

 

DIY留学申请交流QQ群:

MBA申请DIY群:137254413

Master申请DIY群:162474877

MSF/MFE申请DIY 群:27769133

HRM申请DIY群:122368914

MKT申请DIY群:228695973

MSA/Macc申请DIY群:234137969

法律LL.M申请DIY群:110533381

英国及欧洲申请DIY群:209994593

HK申请DIY群:247226867

Canada申请DIY群:255130861

新加坡香港MSF申请DIY群:82449369

MBAMaster申请差别很大请正确选择要加入的群

复制下列地址至浏览器地址栏即可观看,本站不提供在线正版。备注:如有地址错误,请点击→ 我要报错 向我们报错!我们将在第一时间处理!谢谢!